After a week of pre-labour contractions, the mucous plug came away and strong and regular surges started in the wee hours on the 24 March (exactly 12 hours after my second acupuncture session – coincidence?!). The surges continued at 10 minutes apart for most of the day, so we stayed at home where I spent most of my time moving between the fit ball and the shower (sometimes both at the same time!). Dave kept me well-fed and hydrated and we were excited to be meeting our son soon.

After 24 hours, the surges increased in frequency (about 5-6 mins apart, lasting 1-1.5 mins each) but felt very different – with pain and pressure through my back. At this stage we thought it might be worth getting checked out by the midwives so we headed to hospital. I consented to an internal exam, however only Dave was told the findings of this. I’m so thankful that we asked for me not to be told anything at this stage, as after 24 hours of labour I was 1cm dilated (the same as three days prior at my OB visit). Dave gently told me that we should go home for a bit longer.

Over the next 16 hours, we spent time at home practicing our visualizations, particularly the crowning rose and satin ribbons. The surges slowly became more frequent, but remained about 3-5 mins apart. I kept eating and drinking, though the lack of sleep was really starting to take its toll on us both. At this stage, after 40 hours of labour at home, we decided it was time to head back to hospital to make sure baby was ok.

On admission to hospital at 8pm on Sunday evening, I chose to be informed of my progress to be told I was now 4cm dilated. I was offered measures to speed up labour including ARM which we declined, though I did have a small dose of pethidine with the aim of giving me some time to rest and regroup (unfortunately at this stage, I was quite anxious and the relaxation techniques weren’t working for me). The pethidine made me feel very spaced out and did nothing to dull the pain or pressure from the surges. I’m not sure I’d choose to have this again, however it did the job of calming me down and giving me some time to regroup.

I continued to labour in hospital much the same as at home – fit ball and showers, and no further pain relief. Dave continued to be the perfect birth companion, earning his new nickname of Doula Dave. The midwives often commented on how calm I was. In the early hours of Monday morning, we consented to another internal examination to be told that I was now 8cm dilated and my membranes had released spontaneously without me entirely realising it – and we became excited that baby would soon be here.

After a few more hours and “limited progress”, it was suggested that I have syntocin to help the cervix dilate. At the time, we felt this was the best decision – we were both exhausted and ready to meet our baby however the syntocin resulted in baby’s heart rate to drop during contractions and meant I was confined to the bed for monitoring. The pain was unbearable at this point and I had the urge to bear down which was discouraged. This was extremely stressful for both me and baby and as a result the syntocin was ceased after about an hour (thank goodness!!).

At 5am, my obstetrician was called in to examine me and found that baby was now positioned posterior and suggested that there was a high chance that a c-section would be required. He knew our birth preference for vaginal delivery and agreed to let us labour for a further 3 hours without intervention (except some gas to accompany my surge breathing).

At 8am, my cervix was found to be fully dilated and with coached pushing and a ventouse-assisted delivery, baby Isaac was born at 8.23am on Monday morning. He was in perfect health and we enjoyed skin-to-skin contact and nuzzling at the breast for 2 hours in birth suite after his birth.

Unfortunately, we were told that delayed cord clamping was not possible due to the need for testing of the cord blood because of the extended labour. I had some first degree tearing requiring a few stitches – I think I got off pretty lightly given the coached nature of the birth.

We have been home a week now and have a beautiful, healthy baby who loves his breastfeeding!!

Due to the posterior presentation and ventouse delivery, we saw an osteopath yesterday who is giving him treatment for some cranial straining and cervical vertebral jamming (poor little bub!).

On reflection, the labour was long and tiring, but for the most part was a good experience. We achieved our goal of a vaginal and mostly calm and drug-free birth experience.

To be honest I felt that HypnoBirthing was most useful in the pre-labour stage; in the week leading up to birth, I was experiencing intermittent irregular surges overnight. By having tools to relax and breathe through contractions, I was able to understand that these surges were preparing my body for birth and this kept us both calm in the lead up to birth.

I also believe that the guided relaxations and progressive relaxation exercises (particularly the 5,4,3,2,1 and the depthometer) helped me to sleep during pregnancy (and now post-partum!!).

While I definitely found it hard to relax toward the end of labour, the breathing helped me get through the surges and asking for drugs never even crossed my mind (until the syntocin drip, anyway!). Dave was truly my white knight, both before and during labour – coaching me through my surge breathing and he was happy to have only been told to “shut up” once and only have his finger squeezed during contractions while on the syntocin drip!

We feel that our choice to birth in a private hospital with an obstetrician did not negatively affect our birthing experience – we were surprised at how “anti-intervention” the staff were (including our obstetrician) and that they were happy to let us birth as we wished.

Bree, a huge thank you for giving us the tools and knowledge to prepare and empower us to make informed decisions and have the birth experience we wanted.

- Dave and Adrienne

At the time I was 41 weeks plus 4 days pregnant and labour was induced. I was happy to carry for longer if all was well, however my waters partially broke three days prior and the risk of infection was too great to continue. We had been attending the hospital every day for monitoring.

When we arrived at the hospital I felt very nervous, almost like an outlaw handing myself over to the police. It was not what I had imagined;  I had wanted to labour at home for as long as I could, not be at the hospital from the get go. I had hoped so much to go into labour naturally – but it just didn’t happen. Infact I had most likely been in early labour for most of the week prior, with contractions on and off. I was already 3-4 cm dilated and had sprung a leak.

Given all of those circumstances, induction with the syntocinon drip was my only option. This also meant continuous monitoring throughout labour but we were able to get a wireless machine which made moving around a bit easier. We also hired a doula Tina, and she was a great support to both Aaron and I during the whole process.

Labour came on thick and fast, so I didn’t need much Syntocin and the dose was able to be reduced as my body took over.

I used the surge breathing and the J breathing techniques and this helped me have Ava in 4 hours without the use of any other pain relief. It was the most intense experience of my life and the hospital staff could not believe I was induced with Syntocin and did it without any other pain relief. Our doula believes this was due to HypnoBirthing.

The only downside was sustaining a third degree tear that required stitching. I believe this was due to Ava being such a big baby, birthing in a hospital setting (where the second stage of labour is on a time schedule) and birthing using a birthing stool. The midwife coached me to push her out and although they said this was controlled and slow – it only took an hour.

We did have delayed cord clamping, however we I could not have a physiological 3rd stage due to being induced.

Ava had skin to skin contact immediately with both of us and had her first breast feed in the birth suite. We have continued to breastfeed but have had some obstacles with her being tongue tied. We had that snipped on tuesday and attachment has been better and more comfortable.

She is a good baby and has already regained her birth weight plus 200g in the first week. We also hired a private lactation consultant which has been great to help with attachment techniques and also put my mind at ease.

I thought I was prepared for this experience, but in truth nothing can prepare you for the whole thing. It’s life changing. Initially I couldn’t come down from the birth and felt very anxious about everything to do with Ava. But I’m starting to slowly feel better and having a gorgeous little bundle of joy to look at and nurture makes it all worthwhile.

- Heather

Note from Bree: Induced labours (especially when induced with Syntocin) are renowned for being intense, fast and challenging.

Heather did an amazing job birthing her baby so smoothly and without any pain relief. As a few weeks have passed she is becoming more proud of her efforts and realising what an amazing thing her body and baby achieved together with their support team. Comments from the hospital midwives also serve to reinforce this

Personally, I congratulate Heather and Aaron on the birth of Ava and know you are already making wonderful parents!

(Our baby) was never under any stress so he emerged very alert and healthy. I was able to watch as they lifted him from my womb and words can’t describe the intense joy and overwhelming emotion I felt the moment I laid eyes on him. I definitely experienced the “natural high” new mothers talk about.

He is a very relaxed laid back baby and we are loving every minute of parenthood. Thanks again Bree for the follow up and for your help through my pregnancy. I recommend the HypnoBirthing program to all my pregnant friends and will definitely be adopting the approach again next time.

- Nicole

Thank you so much for the info about a c-section birth.  My husband used the relaxation techniques on me in the theatre and the Dr passed up baby straight away, she stayed on my chest the whole time I was being stitched up which was fantastic.

Because I was relaxed my recovery was excellent – I was able to refuse all pain meds the next morning.

- Ally

It may seem like an unusual undertaking to attend a HypnoBirthing course when you are having a planned c-section, but for us, it was a completely natural thing to do.

Before we fell pregnant, my husband and I knew that I would need to birth our baby via c-section (due to recent uterine surgery). A c-section was our only option and we were comfortable with this but we did however want our birthing experience to be as natural as possible.

HypnoBirthing seemed a great opportunity to bond with our baby before and after birth, and to learn techniques for relaxation that we could use in the lead up to the birth.

When we were 26 weeks pregnant we began our group HypnoBirthing course with Bree. Bree is a very supportive facilitator and led some wonderful relaxation exercises during the course. After the first class, we listened to the rainbow relaxation for the first time. It became part of our daily mantra until the birth of our daughter, including on the morning of her birth. We regularly practiced visualisation and the birth companions deepening. We had the idea that we would use the birth companions deepening while I was receiving the combined spinal-epidural.

We developed our “birth preferences” and I discussed these with our obstetrician who was very willing to support us. But on the day we were reminded why we didn’t call this a birth “plan”… I was whisked away by the obstetric anaesthetist to have my combined spinal-epidural, while hubby was getting the run-around trying to find some scrubs.

Despite this “change of preferences” I was able to put myself into a state of deep relaxation and shortly after the epidural hubby arrived. Our daughter arrived in less than thirty minutes, making us a family!

Sheis a relaxed and chilled out baby, part of these traits may be inherited, but we believe that the way in which she was welcomed into the world also had an important role to play. We encourage families-to-be to explore HypnoBirthing as a positive way to birth even if a c-section is unavoidable.

- Susan

By 10pm they were around 5 minutes apart. Our Doula Emma arrived at this time and assisted Matt in talking me through each surge as I rested on the bed.

We decided to move around and my surges increased in frequency and intensity, Matt & Emma assisted me by letting me lean on them while rubbing my lower back and talking me through each surge. At about 11pm Matt called the hospital to let them know we were on our way and that my surges were about 2-3 mins apart.

Once at the hospital we settled into the birth suite, I relaxed on a birth ball. The midwife came in and wanted to carry out checks, we allowed blood pressure, temperature and bubs heart rate but declined an internal exam, she then left us on our own. After a few surges on the ball I opted for the bed leaning forward into a beanbag. We snacked on some sandwiches and juice in between surges.

At about 12.30 the surges were becoming quite intense so I decided to try some relief from the hot shower. Matt supported me while I lent on him through the surges, but then decided i wanted to be on all fours. Emma gathered some towels for me to kneel on and a birth ball to lean on. Matt massaged my lower back while the hot water rained over me while Emma knelt down in front of me helping me to focus on my breathing through each surge.

Matt joked between surges which made me laugh and was a great distraction. We continued to do this for about an hour when I started feeling a lot of pressure and the urge to bear down.

Emma called the midwife and she came in to check on me, she took bubs heart rate again and realised that Violette would be born in the shower, the midwives went along with this and laid sheets and towels on the floor. At this stage I knelt in an upright position while Emma supported me and Matt sat behind me seeing bubs head begin to crown.

After breathing down twice bubs’ head had emerged, it helped to be quite vocal at this stage. Matt thought I was in pain, but the vocals helped use the pressure to breathe bub down. With the next surge I breathed down once more and Violette was born into Matt’s arms (be careful, she’s slippery!). Matt passed her through my legs and assisted me in holding her because I was shaky from the adrenaline. This was at 1.40am. We sat back on the floor and just enjoyed her for a while. To our surprise, she held her head up, opened her beautiful eyes and started looking around: she was so alert and wiggling like a worm! :- D

We then moved to the bed and Violette attached for her first breast feed. I tried a few positions to birth the placenta including standing and sitting upright, and at 2.50am the placenta was delivered naturally while on the bed. We left the placenta and cord uncut and un-clamped for the next 4 hours to allow Violette as much nutrients and blood as possible from it.

We left the hospital about 3pm the same day after Violette was checked over by the paediatric doctor and given an excellent bill of health, although we had a strong talking to from the Dr about not giving Violette the vitamin K or Hep B shots which we found amusing. The doctors came on strong and we knew there was no talking to them about our research or our conclusions, so we just smiled and noddedand declined their passionate offer.

This was a magnificent and empowering experience and we are so grateful to everyone that assisted us with our journey.

Matt is so proud of my preparation, he thinks I was amazing and calm and gorgeous through all this. And he says the bonding that took place during this event was priceless and indescribable. He thanks everyone so much for all the advice for the Knight in shining armour. It helped a lot during those precious hours.

- Melly and Matt

Just thought I would let you know we welcomed a baby boy into the world.  Ethan Alexander.

My waters broke on Wed at 4pm and they were clear so we rang the hospital to let them know and waited it out for a little bit but had no contractions or movements so went up to the hospital just to get checked out.  All was fine so came home again and went to bed.

Spent Thursday doing normal duties besides getting a check up again at the hospital which was all good.  Thursday night/Friday morning I got a couple of random contractions.

Off we went back to the hospital Friday for another check up and they gave me my options.  They spoke mostly about the risk of infection at this stage..  We decided that we would go down the path of Syntocin to help bring on my contractions and boy did it.  I was given the Syntocin at 2pm and we ended up having to slow the contractions down a bit as I was losing focus.

I unfortunately had to be pretty restricted near the bed because of the monitoring (with the antibiotics and Syntocin) but that wasn’t so bad.  We put off any internal examinations until around 10pm and I was 9cm which was brilliant news and refocused me again as I was so close.

Ethan was born at 11:34pm with no pain relief throughout not even gas.  I think I took two panadol afterwards.  No one told me till afterwards that oxytocin made the contractions twice as painful.  I know if they had I might not have thought I could do it.

All the midwives were so surprised and said how strong I was and focused and were so supportive to meet our requirements as best as they could.  It was an amazing experience and I am so glad I still managed it drug free in terms on pain relief so I could keep control of everything.

Ethan was 8 pound 5, 52cms long and a big 37cm head!  I had only minor tearing surprisingly.

Anyhow I just wanted to say on behalf of Steve and myself a big thank you for coming and doing the sessions with us.  I was strong, brave and believed I could do it (and did).

So far motherhood is the hardest job by far!

- Megan

The time following the Christmas festivities and leading into the New Year provides a wonderful opportunity to spend some time (as little as an hour or as much as a day) to acknowledge your achievements, what you did well, what might need focus more next year and especially, what you have to be thankful for in your life.

Each year in late December I take some time to reflect upon my achievements for the year and begin planning for what I want to achieve for the next 12 months of my life.  I love taking the opportunity to consider what I want to achieve, getting excited about the various opportunities that this coming year can bring,

Below are some tips on how to go about preparing your goals for the upcoming year. This process is useful for anyone and everyone and can be used in both personal and business situations.

There are a two key steps involved. I like to begin with reflecting on the year that has been and getting grateful for all that this year has bought into my life. Renowned motivational speaker Tony Robbins talks about an ‘attitude of gratitude’ and how becoming grateful for what we have in our lives means we in turn attract more positive, enjoyable experiences and more to be thankful for.

Step 1: Yearly Reflections & Gratitude

Some people like to take notes or write in a journal to record these yearly reflections. Others just like to sit and ponder. Do whatever feels right for you!

• If you are someone who already set goals, consider what you set yourself to achieve this year. Which ones did you achieve? Which ones did you almost achieve or revised into another goal?
• How do you feel about you as you consider these things that you achieved? Proud, excited, inspired, surprised?
• What else did you see, experience and learn this year that you are proud of? Who did you spend time with that is important to you?
• What are the Top 5 things you achieved this year that you are most proud of? These things don’t necessarily need to be big, but just anything that is important to you ie. I got back into great physical shape. I had a baby, I grew a baby, I achieved a career goal, I strengthened my relationship with my sister etc.
• With those Top 5 (or more) reflecting upon what goals you achieved and then begin the process of gratitude. You do this by starting with yourself, then in your mind take yourself through the thoughts, feelings and images associated with each of those Top5. Focus on the feelings of pride and happiness, then when you have a strong awareness of that move onto to your next top achievement and repeat.
• Continue doing this for all 5 and as you do so imagine you can really fill yourself up with a big bucket of feelings and images; all of these related to you achieving, succeeding, being happy and having much to be grateful for in your life. This is getting into an “attitude of gratitude”, so that you almost feel overflowing, with gratitude for all that you have achieved.
• You can then expand this process to other people and things in your life eg. A roof over my head, wonderful friends, a stable job, a loving relationship.
• This gratitude exercise is something you can do on a regular basis (daily/ weekly / monthly) by simply becoming aware of what is present in your life that you have to be grateful for. The more we focus on these things, the more easily we attract and the more our lives become rewarding and fulfilled.

Now you have gotten grateful and are in a great mindset to attract, the next step is to begin goal setting.

Many people question the value in goal setting so I urge you to consider this well known proverb “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail”.  This year you can begin by creating a plan so you have something to work towards. Your goals can be changed and refined throughout the year if necessary, but real value comes with knowing what that you are taking steps towards, what you enjoy and appreciate in your life and in turn simply by having some written goals you are more likely to a) achieve your goals and b) be happier and more fulfilled in your life.

Step 2: Goal Setting

Goal setting is really about dreaming – imagining your life as you would like it to be. To do this it is useful to first be in a positive grateful mindset and reflecting on your recent achievements (as detailed above).

• There are 5 areas of your life that are useful to consider for goal setting, these are:  Health, Lifestyle, Family & Relationships, Career & Finances, Emotional & Spiritual. You should create at least one goal in each of these areas.
• The common analogy for goal setting is SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results Oriented and Timeframe. This means each goal needs to have a specific focus, be measurable, be something you believe is attainable, be positively focused and have a set timeframe / frequency.
• Consider anything that is lacking from your life now and how you can set a goal to encourage more focus or attention in that area. Eg I need more time to exercise – set a goal around the frequency or your exercise plan for next year.
• As you begin writing your goals come back to SMART and test each goal to ensure it is; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results Oriented and includes a Timeframe.
• It can be useful to refer to your 2011 goals (written or otherwise) and consider if any of these are still relevant. Often we might carry a longer term goal over or re-work it slightly to reflect a slightly different direction. Eg. 2010 Goal: I have upgraded my car to a Blue BMW by 2013. 2012 Goal: We have upgraded our car to a practical family wagon that is fuel efficient. This is an example of a goal that may not have been achieved but has evolved over time.

Sample Goals for 2012

Health: I exercise and make time for me daily. I enjoy yoga or a gym workout at least 3x per week.

Lifestyle: I have a good balance between work and family; I spend at least 30 min every day in dedicated play with my kids.

Family and Relationships: I enjoy a dedicated date night with my husband at least 2x every month. We have at least 2x interstate visits each year to spend time with family.

Career & Finances: I feel rewarded by my job and earn over $60K per year.

Emotional & Spiritual: I take time to stop, breathe and get grateful at least 1x each day. I attend a yoga class at least 1x per week.

Here are some benefit to co-sleeping and tips on how to do it safely thanks to Dr Bill Sears http://www.askdrsears.com/

• Cultures who traditionally practice safe co-sleeping, such as Asians, enjoy the lowest incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
• Trusted research by Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory of the University of Notre Dame, showed that mothers and babies who sleep close to each other enjoy similar protective sleep patterns.  Mothers enjoy a heightened awareness of their baby’s presence, what I call a “nighttime sleep harmony,” that protects baby.  The co-sleeping mother is more aware if her baby’s well-being is in danger.
• Babies who sleep close to their mothers enjoy “protective arousal,” a state of sleep that enables them to more easily awaken if their health is in danger, such as breathing difficulties.
• Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding easier, which provides many health benefits for mother and baby.
• More infant deaths occur in unsafe cribs than in parents’ bed.
• Co-sleeping tragedies that have occurred have nearly always been associated with dangerous practices, such as unsafe beds, or parents under the influence of substances that dampen their awareness of baby.
• Research shows that co-sleeping infants cry less during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which can interfere with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.
• Infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone.  This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.
• A recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol.

Tips for safe co-sleeping

• We recommend using a bassinet that attaches safely and securely to parents’ bed, which allows both mother and baby to have their own sleeping space, while baby still enjoys sleeping close to mommy for easier feeding and comforting.
• If bed-sharing, practice these safe precautions:
  • Place babies to sleep on their backs.
  • Be sure there are no crevices between the mattress and guardrail or headboard that allows baby’s head to sink into.
  • Do not allow anyone but mother to sleep next to the baby, since only mothers have that protective awareness of baby.  Place baby between mother and a guardrail, not between mother and father. Father should sleep on the other side of mother.
  • Don’t fall asleep with baby on a cushy surface, such as a beanbag, couch, or wavy waterbed.
  • Don’t bed-share if you smoke or are under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medications that affect your sleep.

Enjoy sharing sleep with your precious babies and children.

Here are a few more considerations when planning and researching your birth preferences.

Side Effects of Epidurals: on Mother

• Severe restriction in mobility due to epidural wire in spine, partial or complete leg paralysis
• Continuous fetal monitoring and IV in arm during labor despite frequent occurrence of either no pain relief (5%) or inadequate pain relief (10%).
• Lowered oxytocin, endorphin and adrenalin levels in blood, which prevents the fetal ejection reflex and the ecstatic “high” feeling after birth.
• Fentanyl itch—a common itchy red chest rash in reaction to opiates.
• Painful wound in the back, where needle entered, lasting 1–2 days.
• Short- or long-term generalized backache lasting weeks to months (5% chance).
• Full-blown migraine headache following birth, lasting 1–7 days (5% chance).
• 1 in 250,000 will be paraplegic for the rest of their lives.
• Loss of empowering birth experience.
• Decreased confidence in ability of body to function and ability to mother compared to empowering birth experience.
• Remember: A woman who can sit still long enough to have an epidural inserted during labor can have a relatively painless, unmedicated birth if she were provided adequate birth support in the home setting. If and when she figures this out, she may be resentful that no one informed her of this beforehand.

Possible Epidural Side Effects on Baby

• Frequently causes deep drop in maternal blood pressure causing fetal anoxia.
• When maternal fever exceeds 38 degrees C (for 15% of women who received an epidural; 1% of women not receiving an epidural), neonatal seizures are more likely.
• Epidural use makes the baby more likely to undergo neonatal sepsis evaluations and neonatal antibiotic treatment.

Possible Effects on Mother and Baby:

• Doubles the risk of vacuum extraction and bruising to babies head and face, increasing perineal damage and risk of permanent incontinence for mother.
• Frequently increases risk of cesarean surgery (50%) by lowering oxytocin levels, which causes a slower labor, and relaxing pelvic muscles, which causes the baby to turn posterior.
• Lowers chance of mother successfully breastfeeding, short- and long-term.
• Infrequently, an epidural can prevent cesarean surgery. There are two situations in which this may be the case: a woman who is in adrenalin overload, who has not been offered any pain relief other than epidural (and the adrenalin is presumably interfering with progress of dilation) gets so much relief from the epidural that her contractions actually improve without any need for augmentation. In the second situation, presume that a woman who is at 8 cm with a persistent posterior baby needs Syntocin augmentation to make her contractions stronger to help turn the baby, but she is already exhausted due to the long haul to get to 8 cm. In this case, an epidural may allow her to cope with IV Syntocin augmentation, and she will progress with stronger uterine contractions, sometimes spontaneously turning the fetus to an occiput anterior position.

Source Midwifery Today http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/epiduraltrip.asp

Breastfeeding is natural. Mothers and babies are biologically programmed to have a breastfeeding relationship. It is not breastfeeding that ties us to our babies but nature, because staying close to our babies is also natural.

Human babies are born far too early compared to other mammals. In order to squeeze their large heads through pelvises that allow us to walk upright, they need to be born at least three months earlier than they should be.

Many people talk nowadays about a ‘fourth trimester’. Consider that our newborns have been held inside us, constantly nourished, never too full, never too hungry, never alone, never in silence for over nine months. And now consider the shock of being born into a world where you are sometimes desperately hungry, sometimes uncomfortably full, sometimes left alone with no human contact, and, for some babies, occasionally left alone in a room that is silent.

Newborn human babies need time to adjust to being outside the womb, and it’s usually at least the first three months (hence the phrase ‘the fourth trimester’). Many parents will recognise that this is the time their babies start to ‘wake up’ and become more interested in the outside world. Before that point, their whole world is Mummy, and that’s how they’re set up biologically to live.

Babies don’t become clingy and tied to their Mum because their Mums keep them close, they are biologically programmed to be clingy and tied to their Mum. It is normal human baby behaviour.

It is not normal in our culture, however, to allow this to happen. For over a century we have been told by baby ‘experts’ to train our babies to be independent from us as early as possible. To train them to be able to fall asleep, and stay asleep, apart from us. To be with other adults without being distressed – or even to just be alone without being distressed.

We are told we need to send our children to nursery in order to learn how to socialise, and to school in order to learn how to live. It’s as if the ‘experts’ believe that eighteen year olds will still need to be breastfed and sleep with their parents if they’re not forced to learn how to be self-sufficient by the age of eighteen weeks!

But this simply isn’t the case. You can trust your baby to become an independent adult one day, but that’s easier said than done when we parent in a culture that doesn’t trust in that process at all.

And that is the crux of the painful feelings that many mothers experience – the mismatch between what our bodies and our babies bodies are telling us, and what our culture is telling us. In addition, we live in a culture that doesn’t respect or value children, mothers or families.

It’s easy to blame breastfeeding for a feeling of enslavement, but it’s not that at all. If this is you, I can categorically say that you haven’t ‘made a rod for your own back’. It is likely that your babies will grow up secure and happy and all this hard work will pay off in the end. It is nothing you’ve done that has created this situation – your baby is simply behaving normally. It is our culture that behaves abnormally, and our culture that has created this situation for you.

Imagine living in a culture where children were not segregated but were, instead, welcomed as full members of society. Imagine working in jobs where babies can come with you, and toddlers can play around your feet while you work. Imagine mothers being valued and celebrated. Imagine a society that did what it could to make life easier for mothers – sharing child-caring duties, large groups of children of different ages who play with and learn from each other, children who are enabled to learn about the adult world by living in it.

Can you see that if you lived in a more natural culture like this, breastfeeding wouldn’t be a tie at all? You would simply keep your baby in a sling, get on with your life, and feed your baby whenever she needed it with very little disruption to you. And when you needed a break from your baby (which you probably wouldn’t), your baby would have been brought up spending so much time around other adults and children that it is likely he’d be more than happy to be held by someone else for short periods of time…so long as that separation is managed by him, not you.

Can you see that if you lived in this culture, it wouldn’t be unacceptable to say ‘sorry, I can’t do this job just this moment because my children need me’? Instead, if you said that, everyone else would say ‘of course! We adults can wait because we have learnt that, and children can’t – see to your child and then we can talk’.

So breastfeeding and responsive parenting isn’t a tie – our culture makes it isolating and solitary, hard work. But how on earth do we do it, then, if we feel it’s the right thing for us and our babies but we live in this bizarre culture?

The best thing I can suggest if you are one of the mums who is feeling this way, is that you seek out other parents who are parenting in the same way you are, and talk to them honestly. Bad patches are normal, but they’re scary when we have to live through them on our own, so tell people, and let them hold you through it.

Having a support network around you can also help with things like sharing parenting – visiting places together takes the pressure off you, and someone else can help your toddler do up her coat while you breastfeed your baby so you don’t have to get flustered trying to decide which thing to do first.

It’s not helpful to choose support that consists of people who will tell you just to put your baby in nursery, or to wean them off the breast if that is what is important to you, so be prepared with what to say to people who suggest that. Tell them exactly what help you need – a listening ear? an acknowledgement of how hard you’re finding it? practical help like doing your laundry for a couple of weeks?

You are not alone if you find breastfeeding, or any aspect of close, responsive parenting stifling and frightening. You’re normal and not struggling with mothering but with mothering in our culture. And your baby isn’t being clingy because of anything you’ve done, but because he’s normal, and you’re expecting him to behave in the way our culture tells us babies behave…which isn’t normal.

So find a support network, and be honest about your feelings is my suggestion for how to survive if you choose to breastfeed and/or to parent in this close, responsive way.

Exceprt from Free Your Parenting blog (http://freeyourparenting.com)

Cord clamping is a where a baby’s umbilical cord is clamped and cut. Cord clamping might be done prior, during, immediately after or hours after birth, although usually takes place in the third stage of labour (for a vaginal delivery).

When cord severance is performed before physiological closure, a plastic clamp or ligature is applied to the remaining cord to prevent blood loss from the baby. The blood collected is often stored for future emergency use in a cord blood bank.

What is the Third Stage of Labour?

The ‘third stage of labour’ is described as the time from birth of the baby to the expulsion of the placenta and membranes. For the baby, this is the period when blood is distributed back to the baby.

Active management of the third stage of labour is designed to speed up the delivery of the placenta and minimise maternal blood loss (but studies vary, with some identifying less bleeding while others found increased risk of hemorrhage linked to active management in low risk women). Active management can involve cord clamping, administration of uterotonic drugs, cord traction and uterine massage.

Immediate clamping used to be recommended as part of routine active management – however international and some national guidelines on active management now advise to defer cord clamping  for approximately 3 minutes (or until cord pulsations cease/ cord collapses).

What is Immediate Cord Clamping?

Immediate cord clamping occurs within the first 30 seconds after birth. The cord might be clamped with the birth of the shoulders or immediately afterwards. Immediate or early cord clamping disrupts normal physiology, anatomy and the birth process.

Researchers claim the practice of immediate and early cord clamping developed without adequate evidence or regard for the baby and the profound physiological changes that occur at birth.

What is Delayed Cord Clamping?

Delayed cord clamping is the practice of waiting to clamp the umbilical cord at birth, usually until the cord has stopped pulsating.

What are the Benefits of Delayed Clamping?

The benefits of physiological cord closure or delayed clamping for the baby include a normal, healthy blood volume for the transition to life outside the womb; and a full count of red blood cells, stem cells and immune cells.

For the mother, an avoidance or delay in cord clamping keeps the mother-baby unit intact and can prevent complications with delivering the placenta.

Studies show delayed cord clamping produces increased vasodilation and perfusion: higher blood pressure, higher hematocrit levels, more optimal oxygen transport and higher red blood cell flow to vital organs, reduced infant anaemia and increased duration of breastfeeding. For preterm infants, the benefits also included fewer days on oxygen and ventilation, fewer transfusions, and lower rates of intraventricular hemorrhage and late-onset sepsis.

How to Delay Cord Clamping

In normal birth, delayed clamping is achieved by leaving the umbilical cord intact during the placental transfusion and not clamping until the cord has stopped pulsating.

Once the baby has begun to breathe and achieved a normal circulating blood volume, the cord ceases to pulse and closes naturally (physiological cord closure, cord appears thinner, white and flaccid). It can take around 3 to 7 minutes for a baby to transition and to establish a physiological blood volume, but this process can take longer for some babies.

In surgical deliveries (caesarean section), a ‘delay’ in clamping can be achieved (except in cases where there is incision or damage to the placenta). The baby can be held below the level of the placenta to assist with the transfer of blood from the placenta to the baby. Some practitioners may choose to “milk” the blood in the cord towards the baby and/or wait 40 seconds or more before clamping. With a ‘lotus’ caesarean section the placenta may remain attached to the baby, without clamping the cord.

The World Health Organisation states the “optimal time to clamp the umbilical cord for all infants regardless of gestational age or fetal weight is when the circulation in the cord has ceased, and the cord is flat and pulseless (approximately 3 minutes or more after birth).”

For more on the blood distribution and the benefits of delayed cord clamping watch this video

Delayed Cord Clamping explained by Penny Simkin

This article is summarised from resources found on CordClamping.com. For additional resources on delayed cord clamping please visit http://cord-clamping.com/